I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
