So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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