the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
