I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
