just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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