Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
