YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
