And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
