Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
