Are my feet made of real feet?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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