If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Who died my cat blue again?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
