I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
