People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize