i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
