that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
