I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
