Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
