***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
