You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Alive.
So much puke
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
