so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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