I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
a search helicopter?!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
