i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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