Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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