I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
