3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
