I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
