just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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