my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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