Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
