the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
