Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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