see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize