fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
