There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
