You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
