So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
