If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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