Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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