Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
