I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
