the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
