she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize