Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
