No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
