Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
