i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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