thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
