don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Buhtt sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ladies don't puke and tell
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
