You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
