he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
