yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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