Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
