Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
