i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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