I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
