Where is the hickey?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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