How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
someone owes me an orgasm
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize