Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
