I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
