i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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