spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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