Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
