and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Pooping to opera.
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