carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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