Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
