so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
