so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
